Last year, my 2011 MacBook Pro, began to glitch. The spinning ball, frequent force quitting, blue screen of death, and freezing after an hour of writing became more than irritating.
I’m the kind of person when something like that happened, I would grab my keys and head to Best Buy and get another one without blinking an eye. Instead, I waited 9 months. I live on my computer. I am a writer. I write blogs, I write education plans, I write speeches, I research, I email, and I watch videos (you get the point).
It took 9 months for me to finally get around to getting a new one that didn’t crash in the middle of a Zoom session with a new client.
Why did it take so long? I felt a strong urge to justify not making this purchase. I live alone so it wasn’t like my mom or partner giving me reasons. “You shouldn’t spend the money” or “Your old computer still works most of the time.”
You are probably thinking, “Big Woop” so you finally got a new expensive computer.
But that is not the point. It was the voices in my head telling me the reasons NOT to buy a new computer. They were loud and they did not belong to me I know!!.
The voices were obsessively rationalizing why I should not spend the money or make any big purchases or actually make any important decisions. Those voices infiltrated my decision making the Spring of 2020. The mask and social distancing mandate created so much agitation in my physical body that I stopped going into stores.
I had to protect my energy.
My gut explained to my brain, I no longer had the freedom to choose whatever I desire. My choices were now judged, defined, justified, and rationalized by outside manipulation. I stopped believing anything or anyone. I didn’t trust any purchase (food, gas, Amazon) much less a new computer. It was weird. I had always considered myself one of the most trusting, patient, and easy-going people on the planet.
But I had become impatient, distrusting, and suspicious of every word I heard or read.
I had my OWN truth!
Why was I allowing outside forces to get to me (like the media or government’s fake news, propaganda, and fear-mongering? I trust in God. I have power, sovereignty, and authority from these systems and I do not ALLOW others to control me. But I was and it felt foreign and gross.
I knew I had to change these negative programs running in my subconscious. I practice energy healing on a cellular level and I am good at it. I know emotional stress, when not dealt with properly, creates physical harm later on.
So I got to work.
I can’t control the financial systems designed to enslave us or the perpetuation of hate, racism, violence, wars, and slavery. I can’t control the fluoride, chemtrails, poisoned food, tainted tap water, 5G towers, advertising, the fake news narrative, the dark music, and movies, or the education system designed to dumb down society.
I CAN control my inner being.
I had done shadow work in the past to resolve my ego. By the way, if you still let your ego hold you prisoner it’s time to do your shadow work. You will be much happier! People will no longer bother you because you remove your judgment.
I had to get back to my tried and true daily practices to stop allowing detrimental thoughts, attitudes, or points of view to get a hold of me.
We allow what is outside of us to dictate how we feel inside. This may be something someone said or something you heard or read in the news. When we feel angry, scared, attacked, or betrayed, it lowers our vibration. When your vibration is lower, your life is harder and your energy reflects it.
I got back into a daily practice of self-love and meditation.
Self-love includes being grateful for everything in your life. It means appreciating your body, your home, your job, nature, and the small things like someone smiling or a baby cooing. I used meditation and purposeful breathing to get closer to God and my higher self. I focused on keeping my vibration high by looking in the mirror to tell myself how amazing I am and thanking my coffee in the morning and for sleeping 8 hours. I showed appreciation for all the blessings in my life.
What happened in a very short amount of time? I began feeling intense love and clarity for my life and what I should be doing. I felt connected to nature and things that used to bother me no longer bothered me. I am at peace. I trust my gut to make decisions and monkey mind has left the jungle.
If you want to feel happy and energized and have more purpose.
It is time to go within.
